The End Result

Thought of the Day: Being Valued Versus Mattering

You have probably heard people say they don’t feel like they matter. Of course, feeling and actually being are two different things, but that’s not what I want to talk about. As you may have gathered from the title, the thoughts on my mind today are the differences between being valued versus mattering.

Let’s break it down.

Mattering is typically referring to whatever you are doing or you are and the impact that has on those around you. We ALL matter. We ALL have an impact on those around us and hopefully, that impact is good.

Being valued, however, is different. It typically is defined by those around you; where mattering is a direct result of you, being valued is an indirect result of how you’re treated by those around you. For example, if you do a good deed that impacted a lot of people, you made a difference in a good way and that mattered. If those people appreciated it and expressed their gratitude towards you, you felt like that deed, no matter what you did, was valued and therefore you felt valued.

I’d like to share with you now what actually inspired me to write this because I feel it’s important.

Today at my college there was an open house and there where lots of prospective students touring campus. Lots of the students already attending college here, including myself, had “jobs” to help make everything go smoothly as people walked through different areas and experienced a little bit of what college is like here. My job was to take photos. Now, I deliberately made an effort to help today — I didn’t have to. Many students received extra credit in class or maybe were even required to help, I’m not sure how individual instructors went about things, but all I know is that no one asked me to help. I enjoy helping and although I was hoping to give tours, I got the job of taking photos, which still was an enjoyable job as there was lots of flexibility and I pretty much could go anywhere and do anything I wanted. That part was really cool — and I still was able to interact with a lot of the tour guides, prospective students as well as faculty and staff.

I feel I worked hard to get a camera for this job. I couldn’t get access to either of the two journalism cameras here at the school. One is a Nikon D200 with an external flash and two lenses and the other is a Canon HD video camera. Both were absent and although I have an idea where they might be, I honestly don’t know. I tried getting in contact with the faculty instructor for the journalism team, which I’m in charge of, and never did hear from him. So that pretty much rules out any top notch and high quality media. After I decided that I couldn’t do any more to change that, I went to my next option, which was a Canon point and shoot — nothing fancy.

Here’s the part that bothers me. Throughout the day today, I worked hard to get around the chaos, get as good of pictures that I could and try to get everywhere on campus. Sure our campus isn’t huge, but walking everywhere and just trying to track people down in the right areas at the right times was still really difficult… especially for one person. It would have been nice to have some scouts out telling me where to be and what’s happening where.

Despite all the effort though, from getting a good camera to going all over campus getting photos, I honestly don’t feel like that was valued or that I was valued. I wasn’t compensated for lunch today. I wasn’t really told “thank you for what you’re doing Aaron.” I wasn’t asked if there was anything I could be helped with. And after the open house was done and I was kind of just standing around… I didn’t really feel like I made a difference.

This is what brings me to the difference between being valued and mattering. Did I make a difference and matter today? Yes absolutely. This school doesn’t have a lot of photos and it’s something that they need more of… it’s also something that I’m planning to continue to do. However, did I feel like I was valued today? Not at all!

And, honestly, I wonder how many students feel the same. Maybe some were compensated more than I was, but that brings me to my next point. I often feel like because I’m not the “traditional” student, meaning one who gets awesome grades, is in the “two years here then graduate and get away” program, and went about their time here the “planned” way, I’m often not considered in the same caliber. To me it makes no sense. I have been an RA (and I feel a good one as I don’t drink or party and I was the ONLY RA in the residence hall at that time). I have been a Student Ambassador and many of my recruits did/are doing very well here. I’m Parliamentarian on Student Senate and take leadership roles throughout campus. I am also the head editor and president of the journalism club… oh and did I mention I’m the only student that puts the publications together and the “team” is just me and one other faculty member who is the adviser? Well I’m that too. I also am getting one minor and my major includes two emphases.

So why wasn’t I chosen to be an RA when I applied two separate times? Why am I not chosen to give tours through campus as I have so many other times? Why haven’t I been able to find any work study available to make money with the numerous things I do throughout campus. I am constantly offering to help, yet seldom compensated for my efforts here at this college. This I feel is a huge downfall. I’ve built up relationships with the Associate Dean, Residence Hall Manager, Recruiting Officer and several other high positions on campus and usually give them feedback about what’s working and what doesn’t, or ideas about things that could be done to improve campus, but often I don’t feel like those really matter.

I would think a college would want every student to be that involved, and I’m not saying I’m the only one, but there are very few of us who are. Why am I not getting anywhere with my efforts? Is it me or is it the college not valuing what I do? Is a combination? Am I just expecting too much? I am quite honest with myself and don’t mind assessing my faults. If I, or someone else, sees a fault in me then I try to make the appropriate adjustments for a positive change.

Those are my thoughts and feelings for today and I know it was long, but if you read this whole thing, I greatly appreciate and value that. I hope you, as a friend and follower, feel valued. That has always been my goal: to make those around me feel valued. I do value my education, instructors and this college here, but I don’t necessarily feel I am valued in return. I don’t think any dean of any college would want to hear those words from any student, so if this does happen to cross the dean of this college’s path, hopefully it will make a difference.

Thanks for reading and have the best day of your life today!